i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
