HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
