Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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