I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
