A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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