Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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