it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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