So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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