The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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