i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
