She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
