Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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