their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
