It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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