sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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