idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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