Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
