Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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