I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
