How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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