I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
