she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
