Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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