that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
