I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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