What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm getting married
To pizza
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
