hell yes lets make some ravioli
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
