She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
