Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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