i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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