Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
