So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it was like his penis was on wheels.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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