thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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