coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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