i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You ruined the universe
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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