That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
