pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
