I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
