I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
