Who did Billy Mays play for?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
