I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
