he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
