I saw his package. It spoke to me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
