I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
