i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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