whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I could fuck to npr.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
