So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
