My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
