Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
