We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
