If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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