Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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